Comments on: Can You Survive Reverse Culture Shock?

By: Annie

Annie — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:00:46 +0000

I have just returned home after living in the States for 2 years and am finding it terribly difficult. Just reading some of the stories here makes me feel less alone. Ellie has described exactly how I feel – having to make myself go out each day. I just hope that it gets better with time because right now I don’t know what to do with myself and my despondent mood. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories.

By: ruth

ruth — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 16:36:38 +0000

Hi I wish i had read this two years ago. I lived in India for 15 years and had two children there. I had an amasing career in maternal health and loads of other friends from all over the world whom also had Indian hubands. I now live in the lower blue mountians and I jsut dont fit in. No one understands how this life can happen. I am very happy I have had a great life, but its so dull, lonely, quiet, culturless and I feel people are opresssed and controled by the state way too much. There really is no life here. In two years I have belen back to India 4 times, i have real connections there. I work with people who understand life on many levels. Australians are narrow minded and afraid. My first year back I akmost went on anti depressnts, now I try not to think and just do, stick to myself and smile. I wonder whre in Australia I would feel confortable.

By: … in between worlds … | Not all alleged is apparent…

… in between worlds … | Not all alleged is apparent… — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 14:22:21 +0000

[...] now I’m in some bardo of reverse culture shock. You can get that from simply returning from India after a couple months there. But this is [...]

By: Ellie

Ellie — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 02:39:17 +0000

Hey guys, just wanted to update for those of you still in the depths of despair over being back… I’ve been home living with family for the last few months and I feel a lot more sane even after that short period of time.

“Been there” is absolutely right about having left for a reason… and it’s so easy to see things through rose-colored shades after leaving. Just get out and see people as much as you can and try not to go on endlessly about your travels as it will make you feel more alienated if they don’t “get it”. Also, find work or things to work on so you don’t become painfully lazy while you’re adjusting. I feel much better when I’m not stuffing my face over reality TV.

Going abroad again is not a bad idea if you’re truly unhappy being back, but don’t do it in a panic. I am shocked at how negative I was at first and how much my mood changed after the initial shock of being home wore off. Hang in there.

By: Natalia

Natalia — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 14:25:32 +0000

Im half English/Spanish lived all my life in England but would always spend summers in Spain while still adapting to a Spanish culture back in England. Most days i feel more Spanish than English, making it so frustrating how different i am to people in England, but sometimes when I spend summers in Spain a certain aspect of english personality would appear making me more and more confused about my native identity.
To make matters worse I recently spent 5 months on an erasmus program in italy, therefore making me grow fond for another country and culture. People are so different Italy, they are more passionate, open minded and have a great soul! The beauty italians have while speaking in their beautiful language while showing there expression not only in their hands but in their faces, they actually look you in the eye for a long time making you feel a sense of warmth and understanding. So now i am torn between 3 cultures so what do I do? People in england don;t fully understand me unless they have had a similar experience.
Im always listening to Spanish music, eating italian food, watching italian films, constantly reminiscing about the times abroad while dreaming about the beautiful cities that i once visted in italy. I met my soulmates in iatly who don’t compare to my friends here at home, they were from all over the world making it very difficult to see them again
Italy bought the. best out of me, it bought even more of my Spanish side that had been hidden away and taken over by the British “culture”. Now I am more of a open minded person, my soul has grown fonder and the love for latin countries has become my love of my life. I hope to move back to either Spain or italy one day, leaving only one problem, my parents who are the rock and love of my life. So what do I do? stay here being unhappy or move abroad where my soul and happiness belongs?

By: Amy Huang

Amy Huang — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 07:52:44 +0000

Hi Everyone,

I was wondering if I could get some advice. I have been in Australia for nearly 6 years and I am coming back on Dec. 26 to LA in California (with my parents). This is unusual as I am almost 35 years old and I have moved out of my home since I was 18 years old.

I have been like a rat chasing its tail for the past couple of years. I earned a Bachelor’s in Psychology and Master’s of Education in Counseling Psychology in the U.S. I was in a Ph.D. program in Counseling Psychology and got expelled since the program was a bad fit for me.

Anyhow, because of that experience, I decided to go for an adventure and do a four year doctorate degree in Social Work. I completed my studies, met a wonderful Australian guy, but found that it wasn’t meant to be. After nearly 6 years, I am sick of Australia (and our relationship is to the break-up point). I realize that I was only staying for him and I have no family here. I wasn’t close to my family before, but I just became close to them after I was laid off of my job. I did get a new job in Australia, but as my boyfriend threatened to break up with me, I decided that it was time for me to leave.

I have started applying for graduate school programs in a Master of Social Work since in the U.S. that is a terminal degree and it would open more job opportunities. I’m not sure a Doctorate from Sydney would be recognized.

The good part is, my parents moved to California, LA and they were originally living in Connecticut. I know that there may be more job opportunities in CA but i know that the economy is bad and unemployment is at a high everywhere.

At the moment, I am getting recommendation letters from most of my employers in Australia. With networking, how do you familiarize yourself with an unfamiliar place? I am afraid that I will not know my way around LA although I will have a car and eventually learn. I feel like a helpless baby. I don’t want to be depressed when I go back. Any advice to prepare myself? How did other people prepare themselves when they went back or start to apply for jobs before they came back? Is it tough if all of your references are from a foreign country?

By: ruth

ruth — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 05:00:38 +0000

Thanks Amanda! I returned to Australia 4 months ago from 2 years in the Middle East (and ended the relationship at the same time), and have honestly been at a loss to decipher whether it’s the demise of the relationship or being back here that just drags on. I am starting to think it’s being back here, not, as Been There says (above) because everything was so good overseas (I don’t miss it at all), but because I have struggled to find anyone interested in, as you described, what was a life-changing experience. It took me two months to even be able to take part in the conversation at the local Bowls Club without despising myself for being so banal.
I think the biggest thing for me though is that I struggle to find justification in living such an easy life – and after much soul-searching and guilt I’m starting to think that I really should do the best with what I’ve got, if only because feeling so guilty ain’t helping anyone.
I am absolutely open to comments on this.
And yes, Home to Oz, feel free to contact me

By: Home to Oz also

Home to Oz also — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 11:43:34 +0000

I too just arrived in Sydney a few months ago after living for a year in Paris. I have had some wonderful days here in Sydney but also some days where I have flashbacks on life in Paris – the beautiful architecture, the vibrant streets, walking everywhere..Given the number of people feeling like this on this blog I think we should start groups to actually meet up with one another…at least that would alleviate the sense of isolation one feels in this situation. Is anyone up for it?

By: Been there

Been there — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 03:02:21 +0000

Everybody on this site seems to be complaining about how hard it is adjusting, and how they are missing their glamorous lives overseas. One thing to remember, the majority of you left for a reason and made the decision to leave – e.g you were unhappy, lonely – life was sometimes exciting/interesting but overall it was time to get settled back into your home country.

Now you are back and you are unhappy – things are not as you imagined they would be, so what do you do ? Immediately you start thinking you made the wrong decision – why did I come back, I am so unhappy here, I miss my life overseas – you think about all the good times and all your exciting experiences.

Whats wrong here? You forget that you came back for a reason. If everything was so good there you would have never left in the first place. There were tough times overseas too – what you need to come to terms with is that life itself is not easy sometimes. No matter where you are you will be challenged – there is no place where things are easier – the initial excitement of being anywhere new eventually fades and the challenges of living life become the focus.

If you made a decision to leave, or stay – stick with it. At least try get back into life where you are now – you can still love the country you were living in, and you can always go back there to visit or work sometime in the future. Who knows? Nothings permanent. We are travellers.

By: Home to Australia

Home to Australia — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 06:24:06 +0000

Well it has been six months very soon since my return to Australia from Paris after 3 years (I ended a 10 year relationship at the same time – double whammy) It has been as hard as I thought. Now just as the (too hot) tropical hot humid days of summer are starting my thoughts are with my beautiful european winter. I don’t have any easy answers – some days are harder than others – some days are just awful – make the most of where you have returned too – I spend my weekends making the most of the harbour and beaches. But still automatically and unintentionally start speaking french when I hear the accent, I don’t speak anymore about mourning my home and life in Paris to friends – no-one understands why you cant just get over it – but it is still felt with much anguish. The thought is but this is your home country. I feel torn, miss my life and feel like I am just passing time waiting for ‘something’ to fill the part of me that is missing. Bon chance.