Comments on: Can You Survive Reverse Culture Shock? http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/ The Travelzine for Today's Vagabond Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:02:20 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: bretta http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/comment-page-2/#comment-11874 bretta Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:50:50 +0000 http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/#comment-11874 I just stumbled upon this...wonderful posts. I wish I'd found this 2 years ago after my return from a 3 month Europe/Asia backpacking trip! I was depressed for 2 months after returning home. I gained a lot of weight, didn't see the point of getting out of bed...etc. I wanted to stay in Shanghai, but returned home to finish my bachelors instead. At the time I thought it was a huge mistake. Not to mention in an attempt to save money and get my life in order after returning I lived with my parents which made me feel like a loser, like somehow I had backtracked and was back at ground zero. Living with parents(in the middle of nowhere), no car, no job, no money, no exotic food/people/language/newness/strange experiences=awful and boring. Now I am studying abroad and will return to the USA soon after 5 months abroad. I'm terrified. If I was depressed for 2 months last time after only 3 months abroad will I be depressed for 3-4 months after 5 months abroad! I'm trying to prepare myself mentally. Yes, I've been homesick for the people and comforts of home, but I know that I have an unrealistic and fairytale homecoming in my head. It needs to go. It will just make going back harder, no expectations might be the best policy. It is so difficult to understand why no one wants to hear about your trip, and I guess I won't be talking about it unless someone asks a specific question. Last time no one asked about anything or even tried to hang out, I had to initiate everything. It was exhausting. Everyone was so consumed with their daily lives and I felt as though no one had noticed I'd left. Hopefully, this time will be easier since I've done some reading and thinking about my US culture shock. Also, I'll be quite busy after my return. Best of luck to all you other homecomers! Joan, I'm off to the library to check out one of those books. I just stumbled upon this…wonderful posts. I wish I’d found this 2 years ago after my return from a 3 month Europe/Asia backpacking trip! I was depressed for 2 months after returning home. I gained a lot of weight, didn’t see the point of getting out of bed…etc. I wanted to stay in Shanghai, but returned home to finish my bachelors instead. At the time I thought it was a huge mistake. Not to mention in an attempt to save money and get my life in order after returning I lived with my parents which made me feel like a loser, like somehow I had backtracked and was back at ground zero. Living with parents(in the middle of nowhere), no car, no job, no money, no exotic food/people/language/newness/strange experiences=awful and boring. Now I am studying abroad and will return to the USA soon after 5 months abroad. I’m terrified. If I was depressed for 2 months last time after only 3 months abroad will I be depressed for 3-4 months after 5 months abroad! I’m trying to prepare myself mentally. Yes, I’ve been homesick for the people and comforts of home, but I know that I have an unrealistic and fairytale homecoming in my head. It needs to go. It will just make going back harder, no expectations might be the best policy. It is so difficult to understand why no one wants to hear about your trip, and I guess I won’t be talking about it unless someone asks a specific question. Last time no one asked about anything or even tried to hang out, I had to initiate everything. It was exhausting. Everyone was so consumed with their daily lives and I felt as though no one had noticed I’d left. Hopefully, this time will be easier since I’ve done some reading and thinking about my US culture shock. Also, I’ll be quite busy after my return.

Best of luck to all you other homecomers!

Joan, I’m off to the library to check out one of those books.

]]> By: Expatrepat http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/comment-page-2/#comment-11501 Expatrepat Sun, 25 Oct 2009 21:50:48 +0000 http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/#comment-11501 Great posting. Such a misunderstood phenomenon amongst expats that repat... I've just repatriated back to the UK and after four days am ready to return back to China... Great posting. Such a misunderstood phenomenon amongst expats that repat… I’ve just repatriated back to the UK and after four days am ready to return back to China…

]]> By: Baden http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/comment-page-2/#comment-11323 Baden Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:34:50 +0000 http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/#comment-11323 I arrived back in Sydney at the end of may this year after eing away for almost 15 years. I am so glad I came across this site as i thought i was loosing my mind. Back in Australia things seem so Micky Mouse. I find it hard to communicate with Family, Friends...ha, thats a joke...and work, well they dont seem to count the 15 years i spent working abroad as actual experience although i worked in the IT industry and but in 12 hour days.... I know I mafde a huge mistake and the dissapointment is killing me...can you imagine the other week I was having lunch with my family and they started making all these racist comments about people from Asia, eg "when are you going to marry a nice white girl...?" I couldnt believe what i had heard.... I shall spend the summer here and then I think I will hit the road again....see sydney again in another 15 years. I arrived back in Sydney at the end of may this year after eing away for almost 15 years. I am so glad I came across this site as i thought i was loosing my mind.
Back in Australia things seem so Micky Mouse. I find it hard to communicate with Family, Friends…ha, thats a joke…and work, well they dont seem to count the 15 years i spent working abroad as actual experience although i worked in the IT industry and but in 12 hour days….
I know I mafde a huge mistake and the dissapointment is killing me…can you imagine the other week I was having lunch with my family and they started making all these racist comments about people from Asia, eg “when are you going to marry a nice white girl…?”
I couldnt believe what i had heard….
I shall spend the summer here and then I think I will hit the road again….see sydney again in another 15 years.

]]> By: Mona http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/comment-page-2/#comment-11056 Mona Thu, 15 Oct 2009 22:23:25 +0000 http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/#comment-11056 Matt....boy can I relate...I am going through the exact same thing...ok maybe not exact,but close.I am from Canada,and im in the arts(im an artist/designer) I have allways aspired to live in Europe,because as an artist, its a very incredible place to be,to work and to get inspired.I tried numerous times to get my work in galleries in Canada,but it allways got regected,because it didnt represent nature, loons, inuit/native canadian heritage etc, and I was not interested in exhbiting it anyway,because there just isnt much of an interest in art in Canada,despite how much they try to claim there is.Anyway, I left, to Europe, then came back, then left to California, then back to Europe, to study fashion design,and the came back to Canada again...and let me say, I am feeling maladjusted, massively depressed,displaced,spiritually dead,empty... as an analogy,for me its like there is this beautiful symphony playing all the time when I was in historical Europe,and as soon as I hit Canadian ground, the music stopped.Its like a Canadian voice all of the sudden abruptly says "Stop your silly dreaming.You're in Canada now.Get real.Your art doesn't mean a thing to any of us over here,so snap out of your fantasy land,and get a government job like the rest of us!" A practical, simple ,no-nonsense, conservative community of north americans replaced my complex,colorful,thought provoking ,individualistic,culturally rich European friends.And the change was not pleasant. I have been back since June, and I'm really feeling awful, like a total outcast,no friends,no job prospects in my field of fashion design.I don't dress like the proverbial Canadian,nor do I think like one.This place is not about me, and I just don't want this. I am totally empathetic to what you're experiencing,because I'm going through it too...for me, I'd rather live and work modestly in a place where I was happy,than being comfortable in a place that I hate.Being here again is destroying my spirit...need to leave soon...:-( Matt….boy can I relate…I am going through the exact same thing…ok maybe not exact,but close.I am from Canada,and im in the arts(im an artist/designer) I have allways aspired to live in Europe,because as an artist, its a very incredible place to be,to work and to get inspired.I tried numerous times to get my work in galleries in Canada,but it allways got regected,because it didnt represent nature, loons, inuit/native canadian heritage etc, and I was not interested in exhbiting it anyway,because there just isnt much of an interest in art in Canada,despite how much they try to claim there is.Anyway, I left, to Europe, then came back, then left to California, then back to Europe, to study fashion design,and the came back to Canada again…and let me say, I am feeling maladjusted, massively depressed,displaced,spiritually dead,empty… as an analogy,for me its like there is this beautiful symphony playing all the time when I was in historical Europe,and as soon as I hit Canadian ground, the music stopped.Its like a Canadian voice all of the sudden abruptly says “Stop your silly dreaming.You’re in Canada now.Get real.Your art doesn’t mean a thing to any of us over here,so snap out of your fantasy land,and get a government job like the rest of us!” A practical, simple ,no-nonsense, conservative community of north americans replaced my complex,colorful,thought provoking ,individualistic,culturally rich European friends.And the change was not pleasant. I have been back since June, and I’m really feeling awful, like a total outcast,no friends,no job prospects in my field of fashion design.I don’t dress like the proverbial Canadian,nor do I think like one.This place is not about me, and I just don’t want this. I am totally empathetic to what you’re experiencing,because I’m going through it too…for me, I’d rather live and work modestly in a place where I was happy,than being comfortable in a place that I hate.Being here again is destroying my spirit…need to leave soon…:-(

]]> By: jmatt http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/comment-page-2/#comment-11050 jmatt Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:54:46 +0000 http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/#comment-11050 I just had to mention how strange it was to start working in Canada again. I had managed to arrange a sales job in Calgary, AB (I had lived there until my family moved to the middle east when I was 13) while I was still in Taiwan. My last teaching day was on a Thursday. On Friday evening I arrived in Calgary and I went straight to the store I was supposed to work. My first day of work was on Sunday. I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't even focus. I just kept thinking to myself "Three days ago I was in Taiwan, teaching my preschool students about sunflowers. Now here I am, trying to sell DVD players and big screen TVs. I think I have made a horrible mistake." If you are in the market for a way to feel completely alienated and isolated, long term travel is the ticket. I was baffled that no one even cared to remember that it was Taiwan, not Thailand! I just had to mention how strange it was to start working in Canada again.

I had managed to arrange a sales job in Calgary, AB (I had lived there until my family moved to the middle east when I was 13) while I was still in Taiwan. My last teaching day was on a Thursday. On Friday evening I arrived in Calgary and I went straight to the store I was supposed to work. My first day of work was on Sunday. I was so overwhelmed that I couldn’t even focus. I just kept thinking to myself “Three days ago I was in Taiwan, teaching my preschool students about sunflowers. Now here I am, trying to sell DVD players and big screen TVs. I think I have made a horrible mistake.”

If you are in the market for a way to feel completely alienated and isolated, long term travel is the ticket. I was baffled that no one even cared to remember that it was Taiwan, not Thailand!

]]> By: jmatt http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/comment-page-2/#comment-11048 jmatt Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:00:25 +0000 http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/#comment-11048 Returning to Canada after a year of teaching English in Taiwan was one of the most depressing and confusing things I have experienced. People who have never gone through this can not understand how difficult it can be a adjust back to your own culture after straining to, and finally becoming, fully integrated into a completely foreign culture. Everything was different! Climate, transportation, diet, friends, work, entertainment...everything! For example, in Taiwan I was revered for being the foreign teacher, and was treated with a huge amount of respect and admiration. My student's parents were honored to have me teach their children! In Canada I was a lowly electronics sales person who could barely make ends meet! In Taiwan I was provided with a scooter to get around, and everything was only minutes away. In Canada I had to take city transit for over an hour each way to work. In Taiwan we had a cook at the school who made vegetable dishes all the time. In Canada I ate McDonalds. Going for hot pot and Korean BBQ in Canada is uncommon, but in Taiwan it was standard fare. When I was away I lost weight (a healthy loss!), went to the gym regularily, and took afternoon naps, which is common in Taiwan. In Canada it feels like I can barely keep myself alive sometimes. Since coming back I have focused heavily on improving my position in life. I make more money, bought a house and all that crap, but I often long for my small apartment, my students, and the corner noodle stand I used to frequent. Returning to Canada after a year of teaching English in Taiwan was one of the most depressing and confusing things I have experienced. People who have never gone through this can not understand how difficult it can be a adjust back to your own culture after straining to, and finally becoming, fully integrated into a completely foreign culture.

Everything was different! Climate, transportation, diet, friends, work, entertainment…everything! For example, in Taiwan I was revered for being the foreign teacher, and was treated with a huge amount of respect and admiration. My student’s parents were honored to have me teach their children! In Canada I was a lowly electronics sales person who could barely make ends meet! In Taiwan I was provided with a scooter to get around, and everything was only minutes away. In Canada I had to take city transit for over an hour each way to work. In Taiwan we had a cook at the school who made vegetable dishes all the time. In Canada I ate McDonalds. Going for hot pot and Korean BBQ in Canada is uncommon, but in Taiwan it was standard fare. When I was away I lost weight (a healthy loss!), went to the gym regularily, and took afternoon naps, which is common in Taiwan. In Canada it feels like I can barely keep myself alive sometimes.

Since coming back I have focused heavily on improving my position in life. I make more money, bought a house and all that crap, but I often long for my small apartment, my students, and the corner noodle stand I used to frequent.

]]> By: Sam http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/comment-page-2/#comment-10882 Sam Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:16:30 +0000 http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/#comment-10882 Hi, I just wanted to say that I know pretty much how you feel. I spent 6 months in Asia too this year (although I've been home in the UK for 3 months now). But I wanted to say that it does get easier! I found Asia was just incredible and so different to my life back here and I've found that no-one at home wants to hear any of my stories now but I've noticed that I keep mentioning it all the time! I have found it helpful to start sorting through all my photos and putting them into albums as a bit of therapy :) Hi, I just wanted to say that I know pretty much how you feel. I spent 6 months in Asia too this year (although I’ve been home in the UK for 3 months now). But I wanted to say that it does get easier!

I found Asia was just incredible and so different to my life back here and I’ve found that no-one at home wants to hear any of my stories now but I’ve noticed that I keep mentioning it all the time!

I have found it helpful to start sorting through all my photos and putting them into albums as a bit of therapy :)

]]> By: Kate http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/comment-page-2/#comment-10868 Kate Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:13:30 +0000 http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/#comment-10868 Thanks for the info. I've just returned from 6 months in Asia doing volunteer work. I got back home to Australia a few days ago, and all I can think about is going overseas again! Looking at all the photos I took is making me so sad, and I would give anything to go back again! My family is getting so sick of my complaining about how cold and boring home is! and I don't mean to be rude by complaining so much, but seriously the only thing i can think about is travelling again! I've caught the bug big time! Thanks for the info. I’ve just returned from 6 months in Asia doing volunteer work. I got back home to Australia a few days ago, and all I can think about is going overseas again! Looking at all the photos I took is making me so sad, and I would give anything to go back again! My family is getting so sick of my complaining about how cold and boring home is! and I don’t mean to be rude by complaining so much, but seriously the only thing i can think about is travelling again! I’ve caught the bug big time!

]]> By: Beatrice http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/comment-page-2/#comment-10560 Beatrice Wed, 30 Sep 2009 10:42:57 +0000 http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/#comment-10560 You speak my mind :) Thanks for the post! It makes me feel that I am not alone. It's amazing to see how many in the world experienced it. Coming back to Asia from Europe, it's a bit diffcult to adapt, especially the meantality, how people judge you with perceptions etc. I am surviving :) Thanks for the great sharing! You speak my mind :) Thanks for the post! It makes me feel that I am not alone. It’s amazing to see how many in the world experienced it.

Coming back to Asia from Europe, it’s a bit diffcult to adapt, especially the meantality, how people judge you with perceptions etc.

I am surviving :) Thanks for the great sharing!

]]> By: Joan http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/comment-page-2/#comment-10552 Joan Wed, 30 Sep 2009 00:00:22 +0000 http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/#comment-10552 Check it out! I found s little bibliography about reverse culture shock on a study abroad site. Bon apetit! Holm, B. (1990). Coming Home Crazy. Minneapolis, MN: Milkweed Editions. Kauffman, N. L., J. N. Martin and H. D. Weaver with J. Weaver. Students Abroad—Strangers at Home: Education for a Global Society. Yarmouth, ME: Intercultural Press, 1992. Kepets, D. (1995), Back in the USA: Reflecting on your study abroad experience and putting it to work. Washington, DC: NAFSA Association of International Educators. Storti, Craig (1997). The Art of Coming Home. Yarmouth, ME: Intercultural Press. Check it out! I found s little bibliography about reverse culture shock on a study abroad site. Bon apetit!

Holm, B. (1990). Coming Home Crazy. Minneapolis, MN: Milkweed Editions.

Kauffman, N. L., J. N. Martin and H. D. Weaver with J. Weaver. Students Abroad—Strangers at Home: Education for a Global Society. Yarmouth, ME: Intercultural Press, 1992.

Kepets, D. (1995), Back in the USA: Reflecting on your study abroad experience and putting it to work. Washington, DC: NAFSA Association of International Educators.

Storti, Craig (1997). The Art of Coming Home. Yarmouth, ME: Intercultural Press.

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