Perfect Travel Gift: Kangaroo Scrotum Bottle Opener

Posted by Mike Richard on March 11, 2008
Filed under: Australia, Gear, Sidelines

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Ah, what to buy that traveler who has everything?

Paper shaving cream sheets? Cool, but no.

How about a pair of sandals with a built-in flask? Clever, but what kind of message does that send?

An REI gift card? Nah, too predictable.

How about a kangaroo scrotum bottle opener? Bingo! Now we’re talkin’. Nothing says “Why yes, I am well-traveled!” like … well … a pair of hairy marsupial balls attached to a bottle opener.

I’d like to inject some witty and humorous remarks about this lovely gift, but it’s far easier to let the sellers speak for themselves.

Kangaroo Scrotum Bottle Opener

This, is a genuine kangaroo scrotum folks, if you click on the picture to enlarge it you’ll notice an abundance of hair… yes, the kangaroo has hairy balls too!

So the key to judging a kangaroo scrotum’s authenticity is the hair? Good tip. I thought I noticed something fishy about all those hairless, black market ‘roo scrotums I’ve been seeing in the backalleys of New York City.

Kangaroo is subject to Australian Government protection, but needs to be constantly harvested to control its numbers owing to its prolific breeding habits. (They root like rabbits here, I tell ya!)

Fair enough.

Through this harvesting program we are able to make available to you the famous kangaroo scrotum, intricately handcrafted into a useful bar tool - the bottle opener!

But who was the first person to make the connection between scrotum and “useful bar tool”. That’s a bit of an odd leap, no?

Kangaroo Scrotum Bottle Openers are extremely popular as a functional bar decoration throughout the world. Great gift for the macho guy who thinks he has everything.

“The world”? Really? I have to be honest: I travel quite a bit and have spoken to countless travelers. Not once has anyone ever mentioned their kangaroo scrotum bottle opener to me. Maybe there’s just never been an appropriate time to bring it up. I suppose it’s a queer subject to breach:

“Hey, Chris, you comin’ to Boston with us this week?”

“Yeah. Hey … by the by, have I mentioned the authentic, hairy kangaroo scrotum bottle opener I bought in Sydney last year?”

Any Aussies out there want to chime in about this? Are these really world famous?

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Vagabondish editor Mike Richard lives in Rhode Island - a small patch of land in the northeastern U.S. He is a professional web designer and travel junkie with an unhealthy addiction to backpacking, camping, hiking and seeing the world. He enjoys knit hats and speaking in the third person.



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Comments

Jeff Simmermon
March 13th, 2008 - 4:12 pm

I did a little work as a kangaroo shooter and picked up hundreds of the things by their scrotums. They’re nature’s perfect handle.

While the rock wallaby is protected in Australia, the Big Reds aren’t, and they can do hundreds of thousands of dollars in crop damage in a single night.

I wrote about it — you can see the post here: http://andiamnotlyingforreal.b.....art-1.html


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