Australian Kangaroos Engaged in Anti-Human Home Invasion Campaign

© Keith Edkins

Five foot kangaroo invades office. Five foot kangaroo traps psychologist inside office. Five foot kangaroo is kindly “encouraged” to leave the office after bouncing around tearing up the place for more than five minutes. Just another day in the life of an Australian. Pay particular attention to the affable way with which the locals respond to their giant marsupial interlopers. Key phrases: “wrestling,” “headlock,” and “lunatic ninja”:

An Australian psychologist had to be rescued from her office after a “frantic” kangaroo crashed through the window … “Poor old Suzanne just screamed and went straight up in the air,” Baddock told the AAP newswire … “I was then able to block its pathway and encourage it to head out the front door”… A startled chef, clad only in his underpants, made headlines … after wrestling with a kangaroo … Swiss immigrant Beat Ettlin said he thought it was a “lunatic ninja” … and suffered scratches to his legs and buttocks while dragging it from the house in a headlock.

We’ve tried to warn you – over and over again – about how the animals are taking over. Remember the anti-monkey Indian politician who was thrown plummeting to his death by a horde of screaming monkeys who invaded his house? That happened! We’re not totally sure whether the unfortunate politico was actually pushing for anti-primate legislation – that just makes the story better – but the monkeys obviously thought he was.

So while the Aussies may be relatively copacetic about the kangaroos regularly showing up in their homes and workplaces, we know what those bounding wrecking balls are really up to: scouting.