© AP Photo/Proctor Police Department via Duluth News Trubune
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Four contestants this week, up from the three we had last week: drunk ambulance-stealing 21 year old, drunk Reno guy who got 3 DUIs in 17 days, drunk NY woman picking up drunk driving friend from police station, and drunk motorized La-Z-Boy man. We think you know where this is going – the phrase “motorized La-Z-Boy” should have been your giveaway – though there was a strong challenge from the debutant who got a DUI picking up her DUI friend from a building filled with cops.
Nonetheless we’re awarding this week’s prize to Minnesota resident Dennis LeRoy Anderson. The gentleman built himself a souped-up motorized La-Z-Boy, put a Hot Rod sticker on it, and then rolled up with it to a bar. We’re kind of in shock the police even booked him on charges. You don’t punish that kind of innovation. You recognize it. And so we hereby declare you, Mr. Anderson, this week’s Vagabondish Citizen Of The Week:
A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to driving his motorized La-Z-Boy chair while drunk. A criminal complaint says 62-year-old Dennis LeRoy Anderson told police he left a bar in the northern Minnesota town of Proctor on his chair after drinking eight or nine beers… [Anderson then] crashed into a parked vehicle [but] was not seriously injured. Police said the chair was powered by a converted lawnmower and had a stereo and cup holders.
The chair – a feat of engineering if we’ve ever seen one – is being put up for auction by the police department. On eBay. Because of course that’s where they’re going to auction off the motorized living room furniture they seized in a drunk driving incident involving a 62 year old man, a drunk woman who jumped on his chair while it was moving, and a parked car. Begging the immediate question: can we have a civilization please?
Think that one of the other contestants got robbed? Think that “motorized La-Z-Boy plus cup holders plus crashing into a parked car” isn’t enough to overcome the impressive efforts of one of these other civic gems? Let us know in the comments over the weekend.