Confirmed: Kids Licking Frozen Flagpoles Is Still Pretty Funny

2009-12-14 VB - Flagpole2
© NontrivialMatt / Flickr

There are occasions when what’s called for is a careful explication of different argumentative angles, whether they be multiculturalism vs. individual values or public health vs. private rights or something similarly intractable. Those are in the context of controversies without easy solutions – the best we can hope for by the end is a balance of different priorities – so a comprehensive airing of issues is needed beforehand.

Other times things are more straightforward. Here what the situation calls for is not so much Socrates as Nelson, with significantly less detached analysis and a lot more pointing and laughing:

A young boy gets his tongue stuck to a metal pole, perhaps as the result of a dare… Boise firefighters used a glass of warm water to free the unidentified boy from the metal fence pole. Fire Capt. Bill Tinsley says the boy’s tongue was bleeding a little, but he was OK and allowed to continue walking to school. Firefighters estimate the boy was 10 years old. Rescue workers responded after a woman driving by saw the boy and called 911.

This actually happens quite regularly, with the most recent story coming out of Spokane Valley. That case involved two 13 year old girls, one of whom kissed the flagpole with dry lips – no effect – while the other used her tongue. Hilarity obviously ensued, complete with giggling 911 workers and a cell phone photo uploaded to the world. Yes of course the friend snapped a photo. As well she should have.

All of these remain good meaningless fun, at least as long as no one’s getting hurt. But if you’re looking for a broader upshot, consider this: above the original story, there’s a banner for Yahoo’s “Decade In Review.” It reads “9-year-olds offer funny and touching views on the 21st century.” We think you should have to choose. Either 10 year olds who lick freezing flagpoles or insights from 9 year olds. Either the tongue story or the deceptively insightful yet charmingly guileless aphorisms. Either we’re dealing with a class of human beings that gets stuck to things or “from the mouths of babes” is an actual thing. One or the other. Not both.

2 Responses

  1. sue b.

    Hi Omri,
    I read your article about licking frozen flag poles.
    I also read your intro that you dislike people who strike up conversations at bus stops, people who stand too close, and People who talk on airplanes etc.
    I agree with you to a point. But; if you talk the same way as you write, who would want to talk to you?
    Your article was so hard to understand with so many inconprehensible words and irrelivant observations that the substance of your subject was lost. It was not as funny as you seemed to think. I have read your blogs (articles) before and have completely lost the relevance of your chosen subject. Why not just tell it the way it is?
    Just a few observations,


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