Finally: A Brutally Honest Restaurant Review

Here’s something you may have missed. It’s as rare as the white rhino: a truly honest travel or restaurant review.

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Last month, the Guardian U.K.’s Jay Rayner reviewed (or, more accurately, eviscerated) Divo – purportedly London’s first luxury Ukranian restaurant. Here are a few of the best bits:

On the name, Divo:

Apparently Divo is Ukrainian for ‘amazing’, a name I cannot argue with. It is amazing that anybody thought a restaurant like this would be a good idea, amazing that they invested a reputed £2 million in the conversion, amazing that the result is so staggeringly, comically, bowel-twistingly poor.

On the whole:

There are many words I could use to describe the food served here, but this is a family newspaper and none of them should be available before the watershed. I can’t deny my disappointment because the remaining candidates – awful, calamitous, the horror, the horror – don’t quite do it justice without the visceral attack of the expletive.

Restaurant Divo, London

On the decor:

The decor is a mixture of overblown kitsch – swirly carpets and drapes that Middle Eastern dignitaries might favour for photo opportunities – and a down home babushka, cottage look. It’s as if two completely different teams from Changing Rooms have been let loose, armed only with half a million quid each of someone else’s money, crystal meth and a taste bypass.

Yikes. Having never patronized Divo, a small part of me pities the restaurant. Did the owner betray the critic’s mother in some way?

It’s so rare to see such a visceral and (I imagine) honest review of a restaurant or any place for that matter. More surprising is that this comes from the Guardian.

Founding Editor

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