Great News: Elephants Now Trying To Brain Zoo Visitors With Gigantic Rocks

© TheWB

The latest in our ongoing series variously titled “The Animals Are Taking Over,” “Look Out For Those Animals,” and “Have You Noticed How These Animals Seem To Be Plotting To Enslave Us?” This time it’s a 35 year old elephant named Taesani, an adorable pachyderm who has recently taken to throwing huge rocks at South Korean zoo goers when they turn around:

South Korean police, in one of their more heavyweight cases, are investigating whether a zoo elephant threw a stone at a woman visitor. The woman surnamed Kim told police she was visiting the zoo at the Children’s Grand Park in southeast Seoul on Monday when she noticed an elephant picking up a stone with its trunk. After she turned away from 35-year-old Taesani, she was hit on the back of her head by a large stone, several newspapers reported.

No word yet on whether the rock was a weapon of opportunity or whether Taesani has a painstakingly built stockpile like that Santino the chimp. In that incident, which broke earlier this year, a Swedish zoo chimp was carefully hiding rocks so he could chuck them at visitors in the morning. Scientists expressed themselves amazed at this display of non-human forethought, a reaction we believe severely underemphasizes the whole “there are chimps building arsenals of rocks” facet of the story.

Anyway, we’ll probably never know what exactly happened with Taesani. It turns out she launched her attack from a corner just beyond the reach of the zoo’s cameras. And if that’s not suspicious enough, check out her creepy smile on the original article. That’s an animal who knows she’s gotten away with something.