How to Politely Tell Homeland Security to F*** Off

Posted by Mike Richard on November 3, 2007
Filed under: Sidelines

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Upgrade: Travel Better points us to the Citizen’s Insertable Swiftness Manifest:

Citizen’s Insertable Swiftness Manifest

My favorite:

“Do not be alarmed by: Cattle Prod (unfolds into ergonomic pillow)”

Just too delicious.

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Vagabondish editor, Mike Richard, lives in Rhode Island - a spit of land in the northeastern U.S. He is a professional web designer and travel junkie with an unhealthy addiction to backpacking, camping, hiking and seeing the world. He enjoys knit hats, small, declarative sentences and speaking in the third person.



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Comments

nina
November 3rd, 2007
11:39 pm

Dang, didn’t know celery can be quite… lethal. Must pack some next time.


Dreaming of Hanoi » Kiss my Cattle Prod
November 5th, 2007
3:20 am

[…] I saw this on Vagabondish: […]


Steve
November 6th, 2007
1:06 pm

Or in other words: How to get arrested :-)


Mike
November 6th, 2007
1:13 pm

Toe-may-toe / toe-mah-toe, Steve! ;)


BanjoPlayingHamster
November 6th, 2007
3:28 pm

None of that form will be taken in jest when they find your…

BOTTLED WATER!

You unrecalcitrantacious terrrrist.


Parker
November 9th, 2007
1:28 pm

“Or in other words: How to get arrested”

They can’t do shit unless they actually find something. I’ve never heard of someone being charged with pretending.


ME
November 11th, 2007
3:23 pm

Where have you been Parker? You can get in trouble for just getting caught SAYING the word “terrorist” or “bomb” in an airport. Even joking about “national security” can get you in some big trouble.


Bill Vincent
November 11th, 2007
3:39 pm

You’ve never heard of it? Do you live under an old vic-20? If you even mutter a word that one of those under-educated, under-paid, over-paranoid TSA workers in the USA misconstrue as suspicious, you’ll be missing your flight, skippy. People get held for “nothing” all the time. They’re generally released eventually, but “innocent until proven guilty” has been gone for years. I can almost guarantee that if you put this in your baggage you’d be questioned. It’s funny, but not for real-world application.


[…] in your luggage, and you should be alright.  Be careful though, you may be questioned later. {Vagabondish} Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and […]


Patti
January 3rd, 2008
7:58 pm

Snerk! That made me laugh out loud. Also with the “Celery” and “Cattle prod.”

Heheh.. This is just priceless. Thanks for the laugh!

“It was just.. packed. I got up this morning and it was packed. Don’t ask me how.”