How To Survive If You Fall Into A Cesspool

I think we can all agree that there are two kinds of people in this world: those who’ve fallen into a cesspool and those who will someday. Will you be prepared when it happens to you? Thankfully, that’s why I’m hear to dispense such potential life-saving advice.

Another gem from my Worst Case Scenario: Survival Tip-A-Day Calendar (my comments in italics):

  1. Get out quickly. It’s best to get out quicky. Fight the urge to stick around inside just humming a tune. In cases of falls into cesspools and septic tanks, the most common cause of death is asphyxiation from methane gas. The gas causes rapid unconsciousness; deaths in as few as two minutes have been recorded.
  2. Hold your breath for as long as possible between taking breaths. This may be pure instinct for folks who don’t relish the scent of poo.
  3. If you cannot climb out, give one loud shout for help. In-use tanks and pools will be full nearly to the top with liquid and solid waste. Do not shout repeatedly – this will deplete your air supply.
  4. Once out, get at least 10 feet away from the tank before trying to catch your breath. And 200 feet from family members and loved ones until you’ve showered and scrubbed with a Brillo pad. C’mon, that’s just common courtesy!

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