Life After Backpacking: 5 Tips for Settling Down But Still Daydreaming

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There comes a time in the life of many backpackers when they have to put the pack down and do a bit of settling. I know there’ll be some of you out there who argue with this, but for the vast majority of people they do decide that settling down a little – getting a mortgage, perhaps having children – is something they want to do, and they’re prepared to give up the globetrotting, wandering life they’ve got used to in exchange for their new priorities.

But no matter how wonderful the new priorities are, settling down is never easy for people who’ve got used to traveling. I don’t have to look further than myself for a good example. I spent a few years taking trips from my home base in Perth, then six years living in three different countries and traveling constantly from these new bases. I didn’t even want to return to Australia just yet but circumstances just kind of worked out that way. And now, two years in to the settling down process, I still have extraordinarily itchy feet and regular moments of stress where I really wish I could just book a flight somewhere and get far away from this settled-down life.

Australians in particular – or so I’ve heard – are renowned for wandering the world, working overseas or backpacking for years, but very often coming home to settle down. Many of my Aussie friends have done something similar to me. From their experiences as well as my own, I’ve learned a bunch of ways to deal with the settling down phase and learn that a life led not constantly on the road is alright too.

Here are some of my tips if you find yourself in the same situation:

#1: Keep Learning About the World

Read, surf the net, chat on online forums to keep learning more about what’s happening out there in the big wide world. When you’re in a more settled-down phase it’s all too easy to get caught up with conversations about the latest local reality TV show and the gossip of small town politics. Make an effort to keep learning about the rest of the world.

I have a lovely example of this from a good friend of mine who’s an even more vehemently independent traveler than me. Now that she’s put down the backpack to marry a guy who’s not so interested in travel, and she’s had a baby, she’s found a unique way to deal with her itchy feet. While she’s feeding her baby – those long hours that others might spend watching mindless TV – she keeps the atlas open in front of her, memorizing the geography of the continents where she’s traveled least. She can already draw an accurate map of all the countries of South America, and now she’s moved on to figuring out how those many nations of Africa fit together.

Girl staring up on Bucharest, staring up
Exploring Bucharest © Bogdan Suditu

#2: Do Some Micro-Traveling In Your Own Part of the World

Whether you’ve settled back down in your hometown or somewhere new, it’s all too easy to fall into the routine of driving to the same supermarket, meeting friends at the same pubs or restaurants and spending weekends at home in front of the TV.

Remember that, to somebody else, visiting your hometown is traveling. Imagine their perspective and get out and really get to know your area.

What you have to remember is that to somebody else, visiting your hometown is traveling. Try to imagine their perspective, get out and really get to know your area. I was lucky in this respect – since I came back to Perth with a German husband who’d never been here before, playing the tour guide was natural. I’ve got to know all about my home city and discovered all kinds of places I never knew about before. I also try to keep in touch more with the various local festivals and events that come our way, just like I’d do if I was still backpacking.

#3: Do the Pre-Trip Research You Always Wanted to Do

When I was traveling pretty much “full time”, it was impossible to learn as much about my destinations as I wanted to before I arrive. I don’t mean planning a minute-by-minute itinerary, but rather reading and learning about the culture and people of a city or country. For a start, when I was on the road it wasn’t easy to source English-language books that were related to the places I was hoping to visit, and on top of that, I didn’t always have that much time between trips or location changes.

Now that I’ve settled down a bit, I’m catching up on trip research from the past as well as doing it more thoroughly for the future. I love to find novels to read that are set in cities or places that I’ve visited, and I’m also always on the lookout for interesting reads about the places I still hope to visit sometime in my life.

#4: Stay in Contact With Foreigners

One of the saving graces of my settling down period has been my job as a teacher of English as a foreign language. That means that every day in my classroom I chat with people from at least three continents and get to continually learn about cultures and countries that interest me. But outside of work, I’ve also made sure to keep in touch with a few foreign friends who also live in my city. That way I don’t feel totally absorbed back into my hometown culture and can also do a bit of vicarious traveling through them as they visit their home countries and come back with gifts and stories.

I also make a big effort to stay in contact with the various people I’ve met along the way in my travels, whether they’re ex-colleagues or ex-students from my various teaching jobs, or friends, neighbors and traveling companions I’ve bumped into along the way. One nice side-effect is that a number of my ex-colleagues are still traveling the world and teaching in far-flung corners of the globe and reading their emails about adventures in Cali, Colombia or Guangzhou, China is almost as good as being there myself.

Silhouettes playing at the beach, Maldives
Lost in Your Own World © notsogoodphotography

#5: Daydream About Future Trips

One of the best things I learned while traveling is that I have the skills and know-how to travel anywhere in the world, somehow. Knowing this, I can spend time on my commute to work or while cooking dinner to daydream about destinations I’ll get to sometime in the future.

Sure, sometimes it’s frustrating to know that my mortgage means I can’t take off to Bhutan tomorrow (that’s our latest interest – my husband wants to meet the happiest people in the world), but it’s all a matter of give and take. I spent a wonderful decade traveling pretty much whenever and wherever I wanted, and now the trade-off is that I have a house I like and hopefully a family of my own sometime. But that’s not the end of my traveling life, and opportunities can arise out of nowhere, so I’ve always got some ideas in my head about the places I’ll travel to when I have a chance in the future.

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Amanda Kendle is an Australian travel addict, writer and English teacher who's visited more than thirty countries. As well as regular blogging jobs including Jaunted, HotelChatter and Vagabondish, she writes magazine articles and is working on her first novel. She can be reached at her personal blog - Not A Ballerina.



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Marco van de Kamp
October 30th, 2008
4:06 am

Great tips. I have another one. If you are not traveling sure you love it to meet other travelers, show them around your town, tell them where nice places are, let them cook a local dinner for you etc. You can sign up with sites like Travelers for Travelers, Couchsurfing or hospitalityclub to meet travelers at home.


Nora Dunn
November 1st, 2008
4:25 pm

I second that - I’ve enjoyed the generous hospitality of many folks through the Hospitality Club in my own travels, that I can’t wait to eventually host some travelers myself. I see how it can keep the fire lit and passion for travel burning without having to leave your home town.


brian from nodebtworldtravel.com
November 3rd, 2008
8:29 pm

I’m on my RTW trip now and realize I’ll have to use your tips eventually…but not right now! Thanks for the article Amanda.


megan
November 19th, 2008
6:28 am

Some great tips :-) I’m not done travelling yet, but these are already some of the things I do to keep myself going in between being at home and being somewhere else.