Memo: Cohabiting with Monster Crocodiles and Alligators Is Inadvisable

2009-10-26 VB - Croc
© Tomascastelazo

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Yeah, listen. If you live in a place, and people write about that place, and when people write about that place they use headlines with the phrases “monster croc” and “swimming area” – that’s nature’s way of telling you that it’s time to move. All battles have ebbs and flows, and the constant battle between human encroachment and giant terrifying prehistoric animals is no different. Sometimes tactical retreats are advisable. If there’s a 16 foot crocodile in sharing swimming space with you, that’s one of those times:

It took five men and a tranquiliser dart to remove a monster 16-foot (five metre) saltwater crocodile from a trap in Australia’s tropical north, park officials said Friday. The giant reptile was snared near a popular swimming area on the outskirts of Darwin city which was closed due to high levels of bacteria in the water, said senior ranger Tom Nichols. “This is the largest crocodile we’ve removed from the area in the last four years,” said Nichols. “It is also the largest crocodile we’ve removed from any of our traps in 2009.”

Note that this is merely the largest one they’ve removed recently. The Aussies really do have a different approach to wild invading animals.

Back in the United States, here’s an old clip from Florida. It’s an eight foot alligator that wandered into someone’s house. We were going to punch that sentence up with some adjectives and maybe some feigned fright, but nah. It’s an eight foot gator in a woman’s kitchen.

Combine this with the giant human chomping snakes interbreeding in the area – really – and we’re genuinely starting to question the good judgment of Everglades residents. Annual devastating hurricanes and constant flooding are maybe sort of understandable. But listen to that thing hiss. Come on.

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